Evanston: THE ILIAD and the evening news: a second modest proposal
Evanston: THE ILIAD and the evening news: a second modest proposal
Mostly we kill one another by inserting pieces of metal into flesh.
I imagine that the first homicide was done with bare hands or perhaps a convenient rock, but pretty soon some clever fellow discovered the advantages of metal and history could begin.
I have started rereading the Lattimore translation of THE ILIAD with the incomparable Leonard Baskin illustrations (see ‘an old friend’ ). Three thousand years ago the Greeks and Trojans favored bronze: spears, swords, arrow heads. You have only to listen to the evening news to know that we are still at it.
Of course we have diversified. Poison, atomic bombs, biological weapons, gas, fire, explosives. Mr. Nobel may have meant well, but those prizes prove that he knew he had a lot to answer for.
Still I’m confident that we kill one another more with simple pieces of metal--blades and bullets--than all other methods combined. Old ways are best.
A sad item on the evening news a few nights ago got me thinking about this. A thirteen year old girl, Schanna Gayden, was standing with her cousin in a neighborhood park on Chicago’s west side Monday evening, eating a piece of fruit, when shooting broke out between rival gangs in what is described as a turf war. She was struck by a stray bullet and died. She would have started eighth grade in September. She was the second Chicago Public Schools student to be killed since school let out earlier this month. Thirty-two students died during the school year. A nineteen year old gang member has been arrested for her murder.
Obviously guns cannot be kept out of people’s hands. I admire our Founding Fathers and understand their motivation, but I wish that they had written into the Constitution the right to bear marijuana rather than arms. And I say that as possibly the only American who neither owns a gun nor uses drugs. No, that isn’t true. I use alcohol, and we know what happened when that was illegal.
So people, including adolescent males, are going to have guns. It is clearly in the public interest that they be able to shoot them better. We want these young men to hit what they are aiming at--one another--and not innocent bystanders.
Therefore I propose that every boy--and in the interest of equality though I don’t think girls shoot nearly as many people as boys--and girl be given a course in marksmanship. Some research may be necessary to determine at what age this should be done. Age ten may be soon enough. But it might prove necessary to start marksmanship in pre-school.
At whatever the determined age, upon successful completion of the course and a sufficiently high score on the shooting range, the young person will be issued a large Certified Marksperson License that they will have to wear prominently displayed whenever they are in public.
Exemption cards will be issued to the legally blind.
No one who has passed through airport security recently will take seriously complaints that this compromises personal freedom.
(The first modest proposal is here.)
Wednesday, June 27, 2007